Daily Life

A Jeepney asshole is NOT a pretty problem

Posted by Cat Ramos

Forgive me because this entry might end up peppered with colorful language. I need to rant and I might not have enough energy to edit.


This morning, I boarded a jeepney on my usual commute to work. I was the first passenger. Aside from the driver, there was a barker/fare collector in the jeep. He can’t be more than twenty years old. The moment I sat down, this barker sat SO CLOSE to me. If it weren’t for my bag, he would have been skin-to-skin with me. Damn.

Then the fucktard turned to face me and stared at me. His face was mere inches away from mine. I got pissed but asked him politely “kuya, can you move away from me? You are too close and there’s lots of space over there”, and I pointed to a spot several feet away from me.

He did move away. But before I could even relax, Boy Asshole moved to the seat in front of me and stared again. Then he started singing a stupid Tagalog rap song. This time I was getting angry. So I asked him in a louder and sterner voice “kuya, may problema ba? Anong problema mo at ganyan ka makatingin?” (Do you have a problem? Why are you staring at me like that?).

He mumbled something like “Hindi, kasi maganda ka lang” (Nothing, you’re just pretty). Oh yeah, I am pretty alright. PRETTY PISSED at this fucking idiot.

I was only able to relax a bit when other passengers started to get on the jeepney and when someone normal sat down beside me and in front of me. But I still kept my guard up the entire trip, lest this idiot tries to touch me or something because I could still feel him staring even when he was away from me. The whole time I was wishing I had a stun gun or a pepper spray. Or even a balisong — but then I would set off metal detectors everywhere I go. This person was so rude and I felt violated. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe with a situation like that.

I was still fuming when I told my colleagues. I was half-expecting them to say something like “oh that was so bad”. Commiserate with me. They did listen then they started saying typical guy replies like “you should have punched him”. Karlo even called it “pretty problems”. So now, while Vic has “pogi problems”, I have “pretty problems”. Ugh. They started piling on after that! Like, “next time, try not to look beautiful” or “try not showering for 3 days and no one will attempt to go near you”. Uhm, not the solutions I was looking for. And they went on about this freaking “glow” that they say I have these days — like the kind of aura that a girl radiates when in love or when pregnant or something. The pregnancy thing was an April Fool’s joke!! Man, I ran out of retorts for everything they had to say.

But despite all the taunts and jokes, I also got free barehanded self-defense lessons from Vernon. Ha! He said never to punch with the fist unless you want to hurt your knuckles. Instead, use the heel of your hand and aim for the nose. When hit hard, the nose will hurt like hell and will bleed profusely. It will not cause death but it will make the other person feel like the injury is serious. This is good when the other person is in front of you.

If the aggressor is beside you, it might be more effective to use the blade hand. Extend the fingers like you would when trying to slap someone but keep the fingers together. Brace the thumb under the palm to prevent injury to self.  Basically, you make a stiff blade with your hand. You can use either the thumb side or the pinky side. With a swift move, karate chop the person in the neck (if vulnerable) or aim for the nose again.

Whichever method you use, make sure you use “violence of action” or don’t do it at all. Put all your force into that one hit — no use being halfhearted about it.

It was a bad, bad start to the day. If this was a Facebook status, it would say “Cat Ramos is feeling murderous”. Again, no one should feel unsafe or uncomfortable and people like this guy should be put in their place. By who, I don’t know. But all I know is that it is my right to protect myself when I feel that I am being violated. It is my right to resort to self-defense when my safety is threatened. If someone violates my personal space, I guarantee that things will get pretty ugly and bloody.


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4 thoughts on “A Jeepney asshole is NOT a pretty problem

  1. rein

    I feel you. Grabe! Damang dama ko yung “Cat Ramos is feeling murderous” coz that’s what I feel everyday commuting.. soo frustrating tapos may mga assholes pa na ganyan.. tulad yest thus the all-day twitter ranting. soo annoying! next time saktan mo na yan!!

    1. catchan1980

      Dapat pwedeng basta na lang manakit ng tao e. Self defense ba :p tsaka yung naglalakad ka tapos biglang may babati ng “hi, miss!” (Pero sounds like “hay mes”) at nakakabastos yung feeling.

  2. Travis Takes on the World

    It’s always an adventure while riding jeepneys. I mostly get people staring directly at me for 30 mins or so. They are always so shocked to see the “rich” white guy riding on a jeep. Sorry people, I am not rich- I make pesos just like you. Never mind the 6’5 white giant sitting across from you. I hope your next experience in the jeep will be more pleasant. 🙂

    1. catchan1980

      6’5″ and white – not exactly inconspicuous 🙂 I am sorry that you have to endure all that.
      That staring thing is really one of my pet peeves.

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